Gratitude Challenge Extended: Week 15

Hello again,

This week has been rather crazy as I am attempting to get a lot of stuff done in a small period of time. Because of the surgery, I will have to have any Christmas stuff done before hand as well as any preparations for surgery. This means my original deadline to have stuff done for Christmas has basically been moved up by a couple of weeks. It will be nice though once the surgery is done because I will be all done with my Christmas preparations a couple of weeks early which definitely makes it much less stressful. :) Anyways here are the blessings for this week. :)

1. Antibiotics. I have tried to fight a sinus infection without antibiotics for a while now (well over a month) and it is just not going away and getting pretty bad. So when antibiotics are needed, I am very grateful for them.

2. The polar vortex is gone again! Wow it got cold fast last week and we were definitely not used to it. But it warmed up again to around normal temperatures which felt hot after the cold weather we had. :) Last week was around -30 and this week was around 0 I think. Today was above 0!!

3. Lists. I love making lists and crossing things off. It really makes me feel like I am accomplishing stuff. It also helps me to see what needs to be done and prioritize. Otherwise I get stressed because there is a ton of stuff to be done but I don’t know where to start. When I can see it in black and white in front of me, it makes a huge difference. :)

4. My Phone alarm. I have them set for so many things. Medication, appointments and tv shows are the main things I use my phone alarm for but it is useful for so many things. Otherwise I would totally forget things and be late. lol

5. Mandarin Oranges. :) I love mandarin oranges and they are always so much fun to eat. The Christmas season isn’t the same without them.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I appreciate it! :)

Leave a comment

Posted by on November 22, 2014 in Gratitude challenge Extended


Gratitude Challenge Extended: Week 14

Hello again,

This week has been a bit crazy and I am looking forward to the weekend. :) Here are the blessings I am thankful for this week.

1. Getting the call on Monday that my surgery has been scheduled. :) I have waited for this call for a couple of months now and I am so thankful to now have the surgery scheduled and it is so soon. :)

2. Making it through another week. I have had a very tough week in terms of pain levels being quite high but despite that, I have felt quite positive because I am looking ahead to the surgery that will fix the cause of all this pain I am currently dealing with. I am another week closer to that surgery. :)

3. Having a wood stove. This week has been so cold and the snow finally came. We have had to light the wood stove for more heat this week and I love sitting by the wood stove to warm up after being outside. There is nothing quite like sitting by a wood stove (or fireplace) to warm up.

4. Physio exercises. I have been going to physio and getting exercises to strengthen my legs and back so I could go into surgery a little stronger. The more strength I have before surgery the faster I will recover after. I have noticed a difference the past couple of weeks in terms of how much strength I have. It can’t take away the pain but it will make a big difference after the surgery.

5. Discovering Chocolate I didn’t remember I had gotten. It’s like finding cash you didn’t realize you had. lol Sure it is a few months old but it is good chocolate and I have really enjoyed it this week!

Thanks for taking time to read my post. :) I appreciate it!

Leave a comment

Posted by on November 14, 2014 in Uncategorized


Daring to Dream

Hello again,

Since receiving the date for my next surgery, I have been doing a lot of thinking and planning and I realized that while I have many dreams for the future, none seemed very likely. I have had dreams for some time in the future and not stuff that I truly thought would be possible. This morning I started to dream about the near future. Next year. Real dreams…. or maybe goals is a more correct term. Stuff I see as a possibility of happening either next year or in the next few years. This surgery seems like it might actually be the final one. I feel like there is a chance that I will actually get my life back after this one. I haven’t felt this amount of cautious optimism before the previous surgeries that I feel I can possibly begin to make plans again.

Over the past seven years, my life has consisted of surgery, recovery, complications, lots of medical tests and then waiting for more surgery. Plus being pretty much housebound. Between the first and second surgeries, I spent pretty much a year being unable to sit up for more than about 10 minutes at a time. I didn’t go anywhere except the necessary check ups with my surgeon. It felt like hell for me. My room started to feel like my prison. The years after were not as bad but still consisted of serious limitations. All I have had the option of thinking about is basically surviving each day and trying to make the most of it. I am not trying to complain but just explain the reality I faced each day for the past several years. I would day-dream a LOT. I sometimes got through days by dreaming about the future and what I would do when I got better. :) But the future always seemed so far in the distance and sometimes the future I hoped for seemed unattainable. This has been my reality and it kind of became my identity. I was this person who dealt with limitations and pain and that was all.

Now I feel I finally have the chance to be someone else. I can be the person who gets to choose what I want to do and I get to carry out those goals and dreams I have for myself. I will be able to do what I want to do without having to think about how long I can last till I have to rest my back, having to hide the pain from people around me, making sure I take pain killers on time, or having to work around the other limitations I have faced. I feel like I can dare to make plans for my future which feels like it is next year and not some time that may never come. I am not sure how long it will take to recover and regain my strength but it feels like next year will be my year to begin to do that. :) I could possibly stay out for an entire day without having to deal with pain increasing to the point that I can’t sit up any longer. A whole day! :)

I do have to admit that I feel some fear about getting my life back. For the first time in a long time, I will have choices and options on what to do with my life and I don’t want to make the wrong decisions. I look ahead to next year and it feels wide open and full of possibility. I haven’t felt that in a long time. Facing the unknown though is a bit scary for me. For the past several years, I have had a pretty good idea that the year ahead would be more of the same. Of course I never know what will happen but I knew enough to know that I probably wouldn’t be seeing any major changes at least in the near future. One thought I have had is that I should train for a race of some kind, just because I will be able to. :) It would definitely feel wonderful to feel that strength again and to cross some sort of finish line would have a lot of significance for me. I look forward to the next year and seeing where I end up in a year’s time. Or in five year’s time. I feel this is an exciting time for me and I can’t wait to start really living my life again rather than just surviving. :)

Thanks for reading my blog! :)

Leave a comment

Posted by on November 12, 2014 in Surgery and recovery


My Fourth Surgery Has Been Scheduled

Hello again,

Today I once again got the call I’ve been waiting for since I saw my specialist last. The call from his wonderful assistant telling me when my next surgery is scheduled for. I finally have a date for my fourth (and hopefully last) surgery which is December 8.

My first thought after the call was that it will interfere with Christmas and that isn’t fair to my family. Although I am quite thankful that my family is very understanding and our Christmas celebrations are always very relaxed and fun. So it won’t be too big of a problem this year if I won’t be able to bake the Christmas goodies that I normally bake or help decorate stuff. We may not have the goodies or have as many decorations but I am told that is OK. I also likely won’t be able to go to the Christmas eve service either. I love Christmas because it is so much fun for me to give people gifts. I also love Christmas because of the time I get to spend with my family and to remember the reason that we have Christmas. To have something interfere with my ability to do that is tough but I think it will be ok. I will hopefully be able to finally get my life back after this surgery so I rather have it sooner than later. :) Plus I have next year and many more years after that to enjoy and celebrate Christmas so I think I will be ok to take it easy with this one. :)

Now I am in planning mode. What needs to be done before the surgery…. what appointments need to be made… what forms need to be filled out… etc. I have 28 days to get it done. Yes I counted. lol

I do have to admit I feel a little nervous. Just a slight bit. But I am not sure if I feel nervous about the surgery itself or about whether I have time to get stuff done that I want to accomplish before the surgery. I also feel sad because it will interfere with Christmas. I feel happy though too because it is finally happening and hopefully the fourth time is the last time. I was hoping the third surgery was the last one because you know what they say about the third time being a charm or what ever. lol

Just like with the first three surgeries, I start getting excited about the possibility of getting my life back and what that would mean. The thought of getting my strength back and being able to work again…. that would be amazing. To be able to be independent and not need to rely on others to do so much for me that I  can’t do myself would feel great. I would love to take a vacation….. somewhere with a beach. :) I have been pretty much housebound now for over 7 years. It would be wonderful to spend time away from home and see some new scenery. I am definitely hopeful and I hope that this time is different from the first three surgeries and I can actually do these things I dream of doing.

I am going to try to blog about this and share my experience with this and maybe it will be helpful or useful to someone else. If one person is helped by what I write, then it was definitely worth it. If nothing else and no one else reads this, it might be helpful/therapeutic for me to write and share my experience. So if you want to follow me through this, I want to say thanks and I hope it helps and/or encourages you in some way. :)

Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment

Posted by on November 10, 2014 in Surgery and recovery


Tags: ,

Gratitude Challenge Extended: Week 13

Hello again,

First I would like to apologize for missing last week. I won’t get in to it too much but I was struggling with a lot of stuff last week. I was also wondering if anyone was reading my blog and whether I should continue writing this gratitude challenge. I decided to take some time to think about it and decided that this week I would continue. Even if no one is reading these posts, it is ok. It is beneficial for me to do these posts. I can’t really explain why. I do hope that someone will find my posts and read them but it isn’t the end of the world if no one reads them. I set a goal for myself and I don’t quit. I suppose sometimes that things get in the way and I may have to step away for a bit but I am not going to quit or give up. That isn’t me. So no matter what life attempts to throw at me, I will do my best to be here every Friday and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to join me. :) So here I am again for week 13. :)

1. That bad days/weeks don’t last and there is eventually an end to it. Sometimes it lasts much longer but there is always an end. I love the quote “if you are going through hell, keep going” Winston Churchill :) Yes there is an end. “Nothing is permanent, not even our troubles” Charlie Chaplin. I sometimes lose sight of that which makes it harder to get through but I am thankful that there is an end and I eventually remember that and it won’t last forever.

2. It is November and we still have no snow staying on the ground. :) We even had rain this week! I am also thankful for it because I was able to get some stuff done outside that normally we don’t have time to get to before it snows. So spring will have that much less stuff to be done. :)

3. Catnip toys. Because it is hilarious watching my cat react and play with toys that have catnip in them. He acts like he is high on something sometimes which is funny. Laughter is always good and a blessing. :)

4. Chocolate. I can’t imagine life without it. :)

5. Pinterest. I have a quotes board, a funny but true a humour board and other boards that I turn to when I need encouragement or a laugh. I gather the quotes and jokes all the time and then when I need them, I have them to look at. If you want a good laugh, check out my humour board. I am sure you will find some funny stuff. :)  I actually have many boards on Pinterest and you are never bored there. ;) It is a very helpful site. :)

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and you might consider joining me again next week. :) Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment

Posted by on November 7, 2014 in Uncategorized


Gratitude Challenge Extended: Week 12

Hello again,

It has definitely been an interesting week this week. The thing that takes the cake though is learning someone stole my credit card information, somehow made a copy and was trying to use that copy in Mexico. I only wish I could be in Mexico right now. lol Thankfully, it is all getting sorted out and I am not on the hook to pay close to 400.00 that the person tried to charge to my card. I do have to wonder though, how and when my information was stolen because i am extremely careful with it. I also keep wondering how copies are made and how it still ends up getting charged on my account if they are successful. Anyways, I am here to share the 5 things I am grateful for so I should get to it huh? :)

1. I am extremely thankful that Wal-Mart was so helpful and wonderful with this whole credit card issue. I am so thankful I am not having to prove it wasn’t me who tried to spend that kind of money and it was caught right away.

2. Great weather earlier this week. The weather was so nice and to have +20 this late in October doesn’t happen very often as far as I know. It is starting to change now to more average temperatures which is ok. I am not sad because we have had such a great October so far.

3. Another great hair cut. I got my hair cut again this week because I was starting to get a bit shaggy. lol So nice to have it looking good again. :)

4. Another Bzzagent campaign!! If you have followed my blog for a while now, you may have seen posts mentioning Bzzagent. It is a company where you get invited to campaigns you qualify for and you get to try the product completely free and then share your thoughts and opinions on it. This one is for hair colour and it is coming at such a great time because I have wanted to colour my hair again. :) I will likely write a post on here when I get it. I love getting invited to do these campaigns. They are so fun. Plus I save money in the process and help other people know what products work and don’t work. I am not trying to advertise here – just explaining it a bit and why I am thankful for it. :)

5. Cuddling with my cat inside this morning. I have a cat inside that is very rarely into cuddling. He doesn’t like to be held either. But when he does like to cuddle, it is so wonderful and I stop what I am doing to enjoy that time with him. This morning he wanted to cuddle and I really needed that as well. So I am so incredibly thankful for it. :)

Thanks for taking time to read my blog post. :) I really appreciate it.

Leave a comment

Posted by on October 24, 2014 in Uncategorized


Gratitude Challenge Extended: Week 11

Hello again,

To be honest, my heart really isn’t in to this challenge this week. The funeral for my grandfather was this week and it has really affected me more than I thought it would. But I made myself a promise that I would do this no matter what so I am here. This Wednesday also marked 7 years since my first surgery. I have mixed feelings about these surgery anniversaries. I think it would feel more positive if I wasn’t still facing complications. This week has felt beyond tough but I am strong and I will make it through this. Please forgive me if the things I am thankful for do not seem that big. It has been a tough week and I feel like my heart is in pieces (for a few reasons) but I am pushing through and I will get through this. So here I am and here are the things I am thankful for this week.

1. That I made it through the week and the weekend is here. This really seems like an accomplishment right now although it kind of isn’t anything I did or didn’t do to get here. I suppose it is an accomplishment that I made it through the week and I am here writing this post despite how I feel inside.

2. Still no snow. :) It is October 17 and still no snow on the ground. I love that. I do not like driving in the snow. I am thankful we still have dry roads.

3. Painkillers. I may or may not have mentioned this already but I couldn’t have made it through this week without painkillers.

4. Physio. This week I had physio again and I got more exercises that should hopefully help me get a bit stronger. This will also help me get through the upcoming surgery easier as well.

5. Lindt Chocolate. It tastes so amazing and is a definite treat. No other chocolate compares to it. The 100 gram dark chocolate bars are my favorite. Plus really good chocolate is nice to have when you feel sad. :)

Thanks for reading my blog post. I really appreciate it. I hope you will consider coming back again. :)

Leave a comment

Posted by on October 17, 2014 in Gratitude challenge Extended


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 279 other followers