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Another curveball in life

23 May

Hello again,

On Monday afternoon I was tossed another one of those proverbial curveballs into my life. My sister, brother-in-law and nephew were visiting to celebrate a couple of birthdays happening this month and we were having a great time together. That afternoon, while we were outside and I was sitting on the grass, I heard and felt this massive cracking/popping noise in my back. My family heard the noise coming from my back as well despite standing about 20ft away. The pain surged through my spine along with this strange vibrating sensation. When the pain had gone down enough that I felt I could sit up, my nephew (who is 2 yrs old) did the sweetest thing and gave me a hug. 🙂 He is truly the best and sweetest nephew an auntie could ever have. Although now I think he believes the grass attacked me. lol I managed to make it into the house and laid on the couch for as long as I could to still be able to visit with my family.

Since it was a holiday (Victoria Day), I couldn’t call my specialist and thought it was no sense going to the ER until I phoned him. I was in a lot of pain but from what I could tell, it wasn’t life threatening. I hate going to the ER and avoid it until I absolutely have to go. So I waited till Tuesday morning and called my specialist’s office and talked to his assistant. She told me to go to the ER and get x-rays to see what was going on. This isn’t what I had hoped to hear because that meant it could be something bad. I spent the day in the ER and it wasn’t until around noon that I got results from the x-ray. The doctor came and asked me if I wanted to see the x-ray. My question was “do I want to see it?” As it turns out-it wasn’t something I wanted to see because it showed that the left rod in my back had broken. It oddly didn’t really surprise me but it didn’t ease my pain any either. A broken rod means more surgery and it isn’t an easy fix. I had hoped it would be something simple that required less invasive treatment. But it didn’t make me upset or depressed either. Earlier that day I decided that I would be ok with what ever needs to be done because getting upset wouldn’t help the situation. I knew that there was a good chance I needed more surgery but there is little that i could do to change it and being mad about it will not fix it. Being mad only makes my mood bad and makes my circumstances feel worse than they are already. I do wish I didn’t have to deal with this because I thought I was done with surgeries but what can I do about it right?

Now comes the fun part of waiting for the phone call that I learn when I go for surgery and making calls to change appointments that I can not make it to. In the next couple of weeks I have a few appointments I need to cancel because whether I have had the surgery yet or not, I won’t be able to make it due to either a broken rod or I will be recovering from surgery. Either way I am in a fair bit of pain and unable to get out of the house unless absolutely necessary. So all of a sudden my life and plans have changed again and I get to go through surgery and recovery all over again. I really do not understand why this is happening but I think that everything happens for a reason even if we do not see that reason right away. I am definitely not looking forward to the surgery and the months of recovery ahead but it needs to be done, so I plan to hopefully face it head on and get through it one day at a time. I have learned through the past surgeries and all the recovery involved that one day at a time is usually all I can handle. Trying to face more than that can prove to be very difficult. I plan to blog about this new obstacle in my life as I tackle it and I hope you will join me through this next chapter of my life. 🙂

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Posted by on May 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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